White Knuckle Driving

One of the more prominent symptoms from this MS exacerbation has been blurred vision.  In fact, it was the evening that both my left and right eyes were completely blurred that forced me to admit the exacerbation I was having wasn’t a casual heightening of long standing symptoms.  Since that time, the left eye has consistently been impaired while the right eye has varied in degree of blurriness.  In the last several days, things appear to have stabilized in the sense that I am basically near sighted.  Once things get about 4 feet away they’re blurred enough that it’s difficult to make out words, etc.

This is probably the most worrisome of all the problems.  While I can still see, it’s been a bit humbling to realize the things I take for granted in my life.  I can’t imagine what it must be like to be blind.  However, the simply blurred vision that I’m experiencing has given a new appreciation for what sight I do have.  I now have the unique perspective to understand firsthand the experience of people who every day don their glasses or contacts so that they can see afar rather than only near.  It’s also interesting how different things appear at night than they do during the day.  I’m not sure if it’s because you don’t notice landmarks in the same way during the night as during the day.  I think that’s probably a big thing for me.

So, tonight when I went to town to do some shopping I fully intended to be home before dark.  I’ve driven during the day a couple times and it didn’t seem that difficult.  I felt as if I was still well in control and my driving was not suffering.  That wasn’t the case this evening.  By the time I was headed home night had come to stay.

As I drove through town I became more aware of the hazards that already existed.  It was incredibly difficult to judge distances.  It was near impossible to see cars several blocks away entering and leaving the main street I was traveling.  Fear began to grow that something could easily pull in front of me and I likely wouldn’t react quickly enough to avoid a more serious incident.  I’d become one of the “old people” that I’ve always complained about.  I have no business driving until I’m off the steroids and things begin to normalize again.

Once I hit the state highway heading out of town I almost considered pulling over and calling someone with my cell phone to pick me up.  I could’ve easily hit a deer or other wildlife.  Anything really.  However, I just kept on going as I had less than 4 miles and I’d be home.  That was one of the longest 4 miles in my life.  Tightly gripping the wheel,  Driving under the speed limit.  Driving by the white line.  I would make it movw safely.

So anyway, no more driving after dark.  At least for another 2-3 weeks.  Maybe longer.  Whatever the amount of time ridden I’m sure it’ll be  enough to keep things fresh on my mind.  It’ll also ensure we put miles on Maxine rather than Edna.  tI’m sure she’s over due for some maintenancr.